Day 53 May 8th

It’s FRIDAY!!! Yeah! I love Fridays now! It is a much easier day to get work done because the kids don’t have school and it is cereal day. Just these two things saves me so much time! It is such a sigh of relief after a hard week. 

I started my morning with a 2.5 mile walk and live workout with my fitness group.  I am really enjoying these! I am able to push myself so much more and there is no guess work in the moves or the pace. I love it! I am trying to challenge myself each week with something new, last week was adding a couple miles of walking each day, this week was to push myself with the weights during workouts and adding walks on non-run days and next week I am going to run on my non-run days to see how I like doing that! Lame? Maybe but what else is there to do? LOL

Today during my God time I read Romans chapter 9. This addresses God’s wrath and grace. He has the right to make us however he pleases and certainly has the power to put his wrath over us but thankfully he doesn’t!! Paul then references a passage in Hosea where an example of God’s love for people is displayed.  I am so thankful that we have a God who loves us and wants to have a relationship with us even though we don’t deserve it! 

Parker and Alaina were up bright and early. Addie would sleep most of the morning if I let her and she is the one having issues getting to sleep at night and interrupting Aaron and I’s time together so I got her up early today to try to reset her sleep schedule! We have to be intentional about guarding our alone time or we will lose it and then eventually feel disconnected from each other…not a good place to be!!  Over the last year or so we have realized how important it is to put each other and our relationship first in order to keep our family healthy. Every once in a while we see that slipping so we have to refocus and get things back under control! 

A lot of my morning I was on hold with unemployment again to resolve yet another issue. While that wonderful hold music played I worked as the kids entertained themselves. They decided to get the bearded dragon out to try on his new leash that we bought him but he decided to poop all over the coffee table causing a big ruckus! Addie suited up to take care of the mess. After this they decided not to mess with him anymore and Addie worked on her project on her weaving loom while the other two played nicely upstairs. 

In the evening Aaron and I took a walk together and I vented about the frustrations of my day while he listened so kindly. When we returned we ordered groceries, made dinner and then put the kids to bed. Then Aaron and I actually watched a movie together! It has been a long time since we have done that. It took much longer with having to pause and deal with kids but we made it through. It was pretty late by the time we finished so I literally passed out in bed! I am not very good at staying up late anymore. However, I do stay up until about 11:00, that is late for me these days! 

Since I reset my schedule to get up earlier for my time alone, I have not been able to go to bed as late. Well I can, I am just miserable in the morning. I have no regrets however! This has transformed my life! 

FInal thoughts and challenge: I feel like there are some things in life that we just keep coming back to. Like those things you are always trying to work on and change and they may get better for a while but as soon as you relax they slip back to the way they were. It’s exhausting really! Aaron and I making time for each other is one of those things! It’s so weird how we have to try to spend time together. We are happily married and yet we can’t seem to make each other a priority. It doesn’t make any sense. 

But like everyone we get busy with life and kids and Coronavirus and are so distracted all day long that by time everything settles and all is quiet we just want to be alone to breathe or if it’s me I just want to sleep. Part of it too is that when you’re married to your best friend you know that they understand every part of you and they certainly understand if you don’t have much left to give. We tend to let our guard down, to a fault,for getting to where we put each other last and don’t make each other a priority. 

The reality is long-term, that’s not going to be a good thing for us because at some point our kids will leave and then we’re stuck with each other LOL! So because we love each other and we made a commitment to each other and we don’t wanna be stuck in an awkward situation when our kids leave and we genuinely enjoy each other when we do spend time together,  we will pursue each other and keep trying, even if we have to keep trying to fix this for the rest of our lives!

Do you have something like this that you can’t seem to just conquer and move on? Do you feel stuck in the same pattern? Do you think it is time to start fighting for this again? Think about what you want the end result to be, what is your why? Focus on that and go after it!

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